“From Bullied to Brilliant” – The Biggest Bully

Posted by Karen  •  Friday, 20 January 2012

Shifting Focus

You have an important gift to offer the world. You are in the right place at the right time. You have a golden opportunity to learn something extremely valuable about yourself through this experience. You are perfect as you are.

The irony of the bullying cycle is that your greatest adversary and the most significant and hurtful bully you will ever meet, is YOU. Think about it for a second. How many times in a day do you criticise, belittle or bemoan yourself? How many times do you complain about your body, the way you look, your height, your weight, your ability etc……….. You can, if you so wish, lay your painful story to rest in this moment. If you choose to reach deep inside yourself, forgive yourself your frailties, mistakes and perceived failures, forgive others their frailties, mistakes and perceived failures, and see the deep beauty that lives in your heart of hearts and the value and potential that you bring to this world; all external antagonists will pale in comparison. It is indeed as simple as that. Regardless of the intensity or ugliness of the situation you are facing right now, without your participation and willingness to believe that you are at least partly at fault, you are somehow defective or deficient; there is indeed no real problem. It becomes more a logical process, a problem to be solved, a riddle to be unravelled or a challenge to be overcome. If you choose NOT to believe that you are a “victim” and have no need to mold yourself to please another, then you can focus your attention on the important matter of extricating yourself from your unpleasant circumstances. You move from victim to problem solver in an instant. Instead of focusing on the problem, focus on the possible solutions and get moving!

When you master yourself, you master your world.

Our deepest wish and desire is to offer you something of value, something that will lift the burden you are feeling so that you may go on to create the exceptional life you were put on earth for. We want you to give yourself permission to shine the light that you carry deep in your heart, as far and as wide as you can.

  “Life isn’t about how to survive the storm, it’s about how to dance in the rain.” – Unknown

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16 Responses to ““From Bullied to Brilliant” – The Biggest Bully”

  1. Renee says:

    Very insightful, I hadn’t thought of it that way and I’m sure will not give me a useful perspective for both myself and in raising 2 young girls, thank you!

  2. @KrishnaEverson says:

    What a powerful post Karen! It does indeed seem that we are our harshest critic and our greatest bully! On reflection, when I look back to any ‘bullying’ in my past, the feeling came from my BELIEF in the message, rather than the message itself. I guess it really is all about perception.

    • Karen says:

      Thank you Krishna, indeed we are harsh critics and it is completely unnecessary and unwarranted. It’s time to move on from that pattern and onto better things methinks. Thank you so much for commenting. 🙂

  3. Kama says:

    Beautifully written Karen. I look forward to reading the whole book!

    • Karen says:

      Thank you Kama. We are loving writing this book as it has deep personal significance. We hope that it will bring relief and a new direction for people suffering from intimidation, bullying and having difficulties with self-confidence.

  4. Elly Hurley says:

    A great post Karen, I’m looking forward to reading more. It’s so true that we need to be aware of our self talk and keep it in check, there are definitely times I would have ‘dumped’ my self talk as a friend. One of the great things about NLP training is being aware and being able to do something about it. To acknowledge and be aware of our thoughts and their impact is one of the greatest gifts you can master.

    • Karen says:

      Thank you Elly, it really is transforming to have an NLP perspective of ourselves and to discover how powerful we are in creating and uncreating our picture of reality. Thank you so much for commenting.

  5. David Stannard says:

    Karen, this is all superb work. Indeed – if we can’t master oursleves, then there is no chance to master the world or even a small part of it.

    I am thinking real hard at the moment for a wonderful friend who is close to the “edge”, everything has just overwhelmed her and her self belief, positivity and desire to achieve a better future has just collapsed. When you can see the light and sustain that resilience it’s awesome, when the candle somehow dies….tragically maybe (I hope sincerely not) the path forward is painfully hard.

    Will you translate into other languages? This is is No Lose mission for us!

    D

    • Karen says:

      Thank you David. What a lovely comment! Of course, we would love to translate it into as many languages as would be interested. Send our love to your wonderful friend and let us know if we can help. Regardless of how dire things seem when everything falls apart, we can have a remarkably good time building something new. Oh, and by the way, the candle never dies, it always leaves a flicker. 🙂

  6. Megyn Carpenter says:

    Brilliant Karen, your writings are so needed. Will there be a ‘little people’ version without the big words? Well done.

    • Karen says:

      Thank you Megyn. We would love to create a “little people” version and perhaps a series of others. Thank you so much for your support. 🙂

  7. Karen Tyrrell says:

    Congratulations Karen,

    I very insightful Blog. Much to think about our daily self-talk:)

    Karen 🙂

  8. Emma Clarke says:

    Really proud of you both. You always had a wonderful way with words, Karen. There is so much bullying going on in the world. What better way to help the more unfortunate.
    Love Em.

  9. Kirsty says:

    A great post Karen, and I’m so pleased you are thinking about creating a ‘little people’ version. The greatest thing we can do for our children is to teach them to be strong in their spirit, and hold their own power, so they do not become a ‘victim’. Thank you for your work.

  10. Jacy Brean says:

    This really struck a chord with me – it’s so true. Interestingly, a recent newspaper said the longer we look at ourselves in the mirror, the more critical of ourselves we become.
    So come on, all you naval gazers: Let’s get over it – let’s get positive!

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