Why Bullies Attack
If you have been the reluctant beneficiary of a bully’s attentions you will have undoubtedly asked yourself many times “Why me?” Interestingly, this turns out to be the worst question you could possibly ask as it results in an often painful, drawn-out and pointless mental struggle to make sense out of the nonsensical. NEVER EVER ask yourself that question again. Seriously, never ask yourself “Why is he/she bullying me ?” or worse, “What is wrong with me?” To attempt to understand the inner workings of another person’s mind is a pointless and fruitless quest unless you are in an intimate relationship and have a need or desire to improve your communication.
You could instead ask yourself ‘why’ are you focusing on the need to understand the mind of someone who’s opinion you do not respect or agree with (if you were really honest with yourself), and what do you need to do to turn the situation around. Maybe the bully is like a lioness, programmed to attack, without malice or design, or perhaps not, does it really matter?
“What other people think of you is none of your business” – Unknown
Think of it this way, if a person is bullying you, they are displaying behaviour which you do not respect or support and as such, unless you are being physically bullied, does not need to hold your attention. Period. There are simply better things to do with your time namely, getting yourself out of your predicament and finding something more interesting to focus on.
“It is our enemies that provide us with the challenge we need to develop the qualities of tolerance, patience and compassion” – Dalai Lama
Maybe we need to realise that regardless of what other people think, we are unique, valuable, and deserving of love and respect. If someone chooses to offer you hostility instead of love and respect then thank them for their thoughts (silently if that is best) and move on. Perhaps being free from the need to be loved and supported is a path to self mastery. Perhaps the bully is giving you an opportunity to see this for yourself.