Why Bullies Attack

Posted by Karen  •  Sunday, 29 January 2012

Why Bullies Attack

If you have been the reluctant beneficiary of a bully’s attentions you will have undoubtedly asked yourself many times “Why me?” Interestingly, this turns out to be the worst question you could possibly ask as it results in an often painful, drawn-out and pointless mental struggle to make sense out of the nonsensical.  NEVER EVER ask yourself that question again. Seriously, never  ask yourself “Why is he/she bullying me ?” or worse, “What is wrong with me?” To attempt to understand the inner workings of another person’s mind is a pointless and fruitless quest unless you are in an intimate relationship and have a need or desire to improve your communication.

You could instead ask yourself ‘why’ are you focusing on the need to understand the mind of someone who’s opinion you do not respect or agree with (if you were really honest with yourself), and what do you need to do to turn the situation around. Maybe the bully is like a lioness, programmed to attack, without malice or design, or perhaps not, does it really matter?

“What other people think of you is none of your business” – Unknown

Think of it this way, if a person is bullying you, they are displaying behaviour which you do not respect or support and as such, unless you are being physically bullied, does not need to hold your attention. Period. There are simply better things to do with your time namely, getting yourself out of your predicament and finding something more interesting to focus on.

 “It is our enemies that provide us with the challenge we need to develop the qualities of tolerance, patience and compassion” – Dalai Lama

Maybe we need to realise that regardless of what other people think, we are unique, valuable, and deserving of love and respect. If someone chooses to offer you hostility instead of love and respect then thank them for their thoughts (silently if that is best) and move on. Perhaps being free from the need to be loved and supported is a path to self mastery. Perhaps the bully is giving you an opportunity to see this for yourself.



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4 Responses to “Why Bullies Attack”

  1. Debbie Ducic says:

    Certainly a different way of looking at it! I understand the concept and agree. I have a question though… tips for when “the bully” might be someone in the family and not so easy to ignore or get away from?

  2. Hayley Green says:

    I know Karen would be putting tips next. This is just the initial paragraph. Love the picture. I know lioness & lions like that!!!! Cant wait to hear more.

    • Mel says:

      Agrees with Rugby 100% As a former riceever of bullying, but now a martial arts teacher. It’s very important that parents and trusted adults take claim seriously and investigate Always tell an adult or teacher, even a Policeman Bullying is no joke, and names DO hurt just as much as fists

  3. Maria says:

    Im in high school now and i see ppleoe gettin bullied everydayI just wish the teachers in our school do something but you cansay do but they really don’t .. My friend taris get bullied by half theSophomores and i do be trying 2 stop it but i cant take down all ofthem [] Reply:March 18th, 2011 at 11:29 am, That’s crazy and so not ok. Good for you for sticking up for your friend, I think you should keep doing that and even telling the principal or teachers IN WRITING. Sometimes adults will respond more when they know the complaint is being documented and tracked. Tell your friend Taris to hang in there, speak up and know that those bully sophomores are really probably just messed up in someway themselves. Like the saying goes, Hurt ppleoe hurt ppleoe. []

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